I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
