I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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