You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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