I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
