I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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