Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
