Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
