it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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