He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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