Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
