I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
