Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
