you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
