So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
