Church boner. Awkwardddd
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
