I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
