If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
worst night to have a conscience
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
