It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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