ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
