both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
