I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
