She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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