fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
