Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
