remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
