It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
