It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
