someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
