I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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