yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
