i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
