If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
