guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
