yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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