And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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