i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
