My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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