Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
