i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
