make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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