I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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