More tranny stories later!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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