apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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