i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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