That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You are a genius and a whore.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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