Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
