i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
