He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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