Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
