Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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