I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
