im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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