Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I want her autograph on my taint
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
